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Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts, by Guy Winch Ph.D.
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Heal small emotional injuries before they become big ones.
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We all sustain emotional wounds. Failure, guilt, rejection, and loss are as much a part of life as the occasional scraped elbow. But while we typically bandage a cut or ice a sprained ankle, our first aid kit for emotional injuries is not just understocked—it’s nonexistent.
Fortunately, there is such a thing as mental first aid for battered emotions. Drawing on the latest scientific research and using real-life examples, practicing psychologist Guy Winch, Ph.D. offers specific step-by-step treatments that are fast, simple, and effective. Prescriptive and unique, Emotional First Aid is essential reading for anyone looking to become more resilient, build self-esteem, and let go of the hurts and hang-ups that are holding them back.
- Sales Rank: #26490 in Books
- Published on: 2014-07-29
- Released on: 2014-07-29
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.96" h x .65" w x 5.26" l, .51 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
Review
“Dr. Guy Winch’s practical, clever and clear-headed book offers proven remedies for the myriad pains of daily life. Timely application will prevent small and medium-size emotional ills from becoming bigger ones—and that’s just what the psychotherapist ordered.”
—Jeanne Safer, PhD, author of Cain’s Legacy: Liberating Siblings from a Lifetime of Rage, Shame, Secrecy, and Regret
"The advice Winch offers in this refreshingly useful book is both practical and practicable -- down-to-earth techniques that really can bring relief when things feel like they're falling apart."
—Anneli Rufus, author of The Big Book of Low Self-Esteem
About the Author
Guy Winch is a psychologist with a private practice in Manhattan as well as an amateur stand-up comedian.
Most helpful customer reviews
224 of 227 people found the following review helpful.
First aid for the psyche
By Deb
As a therapist, I'm constantly looking out for helpful resources for clients. This book has quickly been added to my list. It so clearly explores the seven most common--and inevitable, if you're human!--psychological injuries and then provides specific "first aid" treatments for each:
1. Rejection--The emotional cuts and scrapes of daily life
Description:
Rejections can inflict four distinct emotional wounds, each of which might require some from of emotional first aid: lingering visceral pain, anger and aggressive urges, harm to self-esteem, and damage to feeling that we belong. (p. 17)
Treatments:
* Argue with self-criticism
* Revive your self-worth
* Replenish feelings of social connection
* Desensitize yourself
2. Loneliness--Relationship muscle weakens
Description:
Loneliness makes us constantly on guard, prepared for the disappointment and rejection we are sure will come. As a result, we miss opportunities to make social connections and behave in ways that push others away. (p. 53)
Treatments:
* Remove your negatively tinted glasses
* Identify your self-defeating behaviors
* Take on the other person's perspective
* Deepen your emotional bonds
* Create opportunities for social connection
* Adopt a best friend
3. Loss and Trauma--Walking on broken bones
Description:
Loss and trauma create four psychological wounds. They cause overwhelming emotional pain, they undermine our basic sense of identity and the roles we play in life, they destabilize our belief systems and our understanding of the world, and they challenge our ability to remain present and engaged in our most important relationships. (p. 85)
Treatments:
* Soothe your emotional pain your way
* Recover lost aspects of your self
* Find meaning in tragedy
4. Guilt--The poison in our system
Description:
Guilt usually serves an important function by alerting us to when we might have harmed another person or when any actions we're considering might do so. However, if our offense is serious or if we've already made significant efforts to apologize to a person we harmed or atone for our actions in other ways and our guilt remains excessive, or if we suffer from substantial survivor guilt, or separation and disloyalty guilt, emotional first aid is indeed necessary. (p. 119)
Treatments:
* Learn the recipe for an effective apology
* Forgive yourself
* Reengage in life
5. Rumination--Picking at emotional scabs
Description:
In order to break the self-reinforcing nature of ruminative thoughts and allow our wounds to heal, we must interrupt the cycle of rumination once it gets triggered, and we should weaken the urge to ruminate at the source by diminishing the intensity of the feelings that fuel it. We must also make efforts to monitor our relationships and to ease the emotional burden we might be placing on loved ones. (p. 154)
Treatments:
* Change your perspective
* Reframe the anger
* Go easy on your friends
6. Failure--Emotional chest colds become psychological pneumonias
Description:
When we fail repeatedly or when we respond to failures in ways that set back our confidence, our self-esteem, and our chances of future success, we run the risk of allowing our emotional chest cold to turn into psychological pneumonia. Because much of the anxiety associated with failures can build upon itself, it is best to be prudent and apply psychological first aid treatment as soon as possible after meaningful or bothersome failures occur. (p. 189)
Treatments:
* Get support and get real
* Focus on factors in your control
* Take responsibility and own the fear
* Distract yourself from performance pressure distractions
7. Low Self-Esteem--Weak emotional immune systems
Description:
Having low self-esteem weakens our emotional immune systems and inflicts three kinds of psychological wounds: it makes us more vulnerable to psychological injuries, it makes us dismissive of positive feedback and resistant to emotional nutrients, and it makes us feel unassertive and disempowered. (p. 232)
Treatments:
* Adopt self-compassion and silence the critical voices in your head
* Identify your strengths and affirm them
* Increase your tolerance for compliments
* Increase your personal empowerment
* Improve your self-control
Think of this book as first aid for the psyche. And, use as needed until symptoms subside.
23 of 23 people found the following review helpful.
Practical and completely achievable advice for handling emotional injuries
By lortz
I love how this book 1) acknowledges that we need to address our emotional wounds with they happen and 2) uses practical examples and gives tangible step-by-step instructions to help deal with emotional injuries. It's not another book that leaves you with a stack of ways you *should* think and *should* react. Instead, you give it a read to learn the science -- then keep it handy (like a medicine cabinet) for when an injury happens. I've read somewhere around 10 books in this genre and this one by far stands out as the most practical and achievable guide to emotional health.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A significant book, provides actionable tips and contributes to de-stigmatizing psychological challenges
By Alice
I became curious about Dr. Winch's work after hearing his TED talk, where he spoke with passion and compassion about his vision for a future where people know as much about tending to their emotional and mental health as to their physical health. The world presents more complex (and interesting) challenges today than ever before. The more we can acknowledge the universality of psychological challenges such as rejections, failures and loneliness, the better we can find ways to manage them together.
As someone who appreciates learning materials that are easy to apply and reuse, I love the book for its structured, clear and actionable content. Dr. Winch effectively uses anecdotes from his practice to illustrate how to apply the various techniques.
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